It can be a difficult time when your parents are no longer able to take care of themselves. It's estimated that the aging population will double from 52 million in 2018 to 95 million by 2060.
Caring for aging parents is tricky
when you don't have all the facts or know about the resources available. The
types of senior care that you can access will depend on your elderly parent's
needs and requirements.
In this article, we will explain all
of the necessary things you need to know when taking care of the elderly and
what you can do for your parents. This transitional stage can put a strain on
any family.
But don't worry, it's not something
you have to navigate alone. Read this article and find out the essential facts
about elderly care.
Assess
Your Parent's Needs
This is your first point of call
when you're trying to work out how to care for aging parents. This can usually
be split into two sections: activities of daily living
(ADLs) and instrumental activities of daily living (IADLs).
Some activities that fall under the
ADL bracket include:
- Getting dressed by themselves
- Being able to bathe or wash independently
- Have consistent personal hygiene habits (brushing
teeth, shaving, brushing hair, etc)
- Feeding themselves
- Getting in and out of bed and general mobility
functions
In terms of IDALs, these
are also important daily tasks but aren't essential or fundamental to living.
Some examples of these are:
- Regularly cleaning or maintaining their home
- Paying bills on time
- Taking prescription medicine on time
- Cooking or preparing meals for themselves daily
- Communicating with others using technology like phones
or computers
- Running small errands like shopping
Once you have worked out your
parent's ADL and IDAL needs, this will determine how much help
and intervention they will require.
It might be that you access a
service like home care aides or decide that they need around-the-clock care in a
residential home.
Safety
Concerns and Planning
If your elderly parents are no
longer able to move around on their own or if they are at risk of falling over,
it's time to reconsider their living arrangements and general day-to-day
activities.
Around 36 million elderly people fall each year, which results in approximately 32,000
deaths. Some of these falls could have been mitigated if appropriate planning
had been undertaken to prevent them.
Common risks of falling are rugs,
carpets, and unnecessary items on the floor that your elderly parents can trip
over and injure themselves. They also might need to downsize their house and
move into a bungalow or flat where everything is on one floor with no
stairs.
A risk assessment of your parent's
property can be helpful in determining if there are any items or adjustments
that can be made to prevent injuries. This can also include stairlifts or
shower hoists to mitigate falls in the shower.
Financial
Planning and Asset Protection
If your elderly parents can no
longer manage their own finances, it can open them up to potential scammers or
being taken advantage of if proper checks aren't in place.
It's reported that over 139 million
dollars of elderly people's retirement funds were lost to romantic scammers in 2020. It's important to set up your parent's technology access
with your oversight to ensure their funds aren't being mismanaged or
stolen.
Finances can be hard to discuss in
families even before elderly parents can lose their ability to manage their
money. If you have siblings, the best thing to do is to sit down and make a
comprehensive plan of how to manage your parent's assets.
It might be that you'll need to use
some of their retirement money to pay for care or additional support. You may
also have to pay their bills for them or designate a monthly allowance.
Caring
for Elderly Parents With Alzheimer's and Dementia
If your parents are physically
unable to meet their usual daily demands, this can be stressful enough for a
family. However, if your elderly parents are also suffering from Alzheimer's
and dementia, this can throw up additional challenges and considerations.
If you suspect one of your parents
has Alzheimer's or dementia, these are some common early warning signs to look
out for:
Poor
Judgment
If your parent is suddenly prone to
unusual spending or sudden changes in behavior (eg. making irrational decisions
or poor choices) this could be an early warning sign of Alzheimer's.
Misplacing
or Losing Items
Everyone knows the frustration of
losing your keys or wallet. However, if your parent is frequently forgetting or
misplacing their belongings, this is something to watch out for.
Mood
Swings
Sudden and unexplained changes in
mood such as anger, fearfulness, anxiety, or suspicion are all common emotions
in those that suffer from onset dementia or Alzheimer's.
Memory
Loss
If your parent can't retain
information that they have just been told, if they ask the same questions
frequently, or if they start to forget important dates, this can be a symptom
of dementia.
Unable
to Complete Familiar Tasks
Watch out for signs such as being
uncertain or unable to drive to a familiar location or to fill out a shopping
list.
Unable
to Hold a Conversation
People with memory problems often
find conversations or holding a conversation overwhelming. They may lose their
train of thought, be unable to understand the conversation, or repeat
themselves.
A parent living with dementia or
Alzheimers will need to have a lot more hands-on support than other elderly
people.
Whether that's you providing the
support yourself or relying on residential or live-in care, you will need to
find the best solution that ensures your elderly parent is safe and secure in
their environment.
Your
Own Care and Support
Taking care of the elderly or your
elderly parents can be a bit of an adjustment to anyone's life. It might be
that you'll need to move closer to them or even have them move into your own
home.
This adjustment brings its own
frustrations and challenges. The life that you previously led will have to
change as you provide care and support to your elderly parents in whatever
form.
Many caregivers feel it is their
duty to take on a lot of responsibility and don’t allow themselves the chance
to unwind or destress. This can lead to burnout and also resentment towards
your elderly parents if it’s not properly managed.
If you have other family members
that can help with the caregiving, it can be helpful to draw up a rota system
to give you time away for your own mental health and wellbeing. Caregiving, on
top of other responsibilities such as work or caring for young children, can be
a full-time job in itself.
Give yourself the necessary respite
if possible so you can recharge and have some time for yourself. Remember to
practice self-care and self-compassion for yourself.
It can be difficult to extend the
same courtesy to yourself when you are caregiving. However, to prevent low
moods and depression (common psychological symptoms when caregiving), you need
to give yourself space to breathe and have regular rest.
Include
Your Parents in the Decision Making Process
It can be easy to think that if your
parents are elderly, you have to assume all of the decision-making. Instead of
just making all the decisions for them, it can be helpful to have several
conversations with them first to work out what they want and what type of care
they would prefer.
Obviously, this will depend on your
parent's mental faculties, but you should always try to bear in mind their
wishes and desires for their future before making any big decisions.
Expect there to be some tough and
difficult discussions. Most elderly people can be resistant or dismissive of
the idea that they need extra help or care.
Depending on the nature of your
relationship with your parents, it might mean that you come up against some
friction or denial with the care process. This is completely normal and as long
as they aren't in immediate danger, or can't look after themselves, you don't
need to worry.
Slow and gradual changes are usually
the best for all the family, as the transition phase can bring with it its own
challenges and bumps in the road. First, focus on one or two of the critical
needs that they need help with and work outwards from there.
Caring
For Aging Parents: The Next Steps
At first, caring for aging parents
can feel like an overwhelming responsibility to take on. However, by talking
with your parents and accessing their needs and requirements, a comprehensive
plan can start to take shape.
Make sure to look into all the
caregiving support in your area and work out exactly the level of help or
intervention that your parents need going forward.
But don't worry about making all the
changes at once. Take your time and speak with trained professionals who can
recommend a course of action that's best for your parents' day-to-day lives.
If you found this article helpful and want to read more on similar topics, check out some of our other blog posts!
